


Blossoms in the Snow

by Nighttyger



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I tagged everyone with speaking roles but a lot more are mentioned, M/M, everyone lives together and I WILL use this, very minor on the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22047136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nighttyger/pseuds/Nighttyger
Summary: Ku Hai doesn’t understand why Su Fang puts so much emphasis on home.
Relationships: Ku Hai/Su Fang (Dragalia Lost)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	Blossoms in the Snow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fiannalover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiannalover/gifts).



> For the 2019 Dragonyule Exchange on tumblr.

Ku Hai and Su Fang are both practiced at hiding their emotions. It comes from their chosen paths in life, he supposes - he a warrior whose mastery of the blade stems directly from mastery of his mind, and Su Fang an artisan in a field where a stray emotion can be fatal.

It’s worrying, then, that he can feel the tension between them, a distance that he might have attributed the snowfall to had he not seen Poli’ahu and Maritimus stirring up snow clouds just a few hours earlier. Su Fang is supposed to do a pyroblossom display tonight as part of the Dragonyule festivities, and Ku Hai worries, knows that Su Fang knows himself but also knows that he loves his pyroblossoms more than anything else.

“Su Fang...”

“Yes?”

They’re standing on the castle walls, overlooking the courtyard below where the Yuletree stands and seemingly the entire Halidom has gathered. Their joy can be heard even this far up, and it makes the shortness of their words stand out all the more.

“You seem... troubled.”

Ku Hai stares out over the walls while he waits for an answer, adjusting his traveling pack, but it soon becomes clear he isn’t receiving one. Su Fang does not simply leave questions unanswered - unless he’s absorbed in his work, but there are no pyroblossoms here. Ku Hai turns his head just in time to catch Su Fang looking away, and the glare on his face.

What does he say to that?

“I’m worried, that’s all. You’re putting on a display tonight, and-“

“Oh, so you do know about it.” A breeze whips along the wall. Ku Hai brushes a stray snowflake from his cheek.

“...I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“Why are you leaving _today_ , of all days!?”

“I - I received word that Haoran was seen in a town to the north of here.”

“So you’re going to go corner him on Dragonyule?” Ku Hai opens his mouth because _no, he wouldn’t do that, he won’t even get there for a few days_ , but Su Fang just sighs and leans on the wall, deflating before he can get any words out and crushing part of a garland in the process. “Sorry. You wouldn’t do that.” A few snowflakes lodge themselves in his hair. Ku Hai stares at the contrast.

“I just thought you might stay. I guess I misread things.”

It’s quiet in a way that Ku Hai isn’t sure he was supposed to hear, but the snow is starting to come down in earnest now, and it brings with it a hush that makes even the delighted cheering of the children below them fade into the background.

“Misread..?”

He definitely wasn’t supposed to hear it, if the way Su Fang’s eyes widen for just a moment is any indication. A sudden gust blows snow into his face, and he sputters, backing away from the outer wall; Ku Hai wonders how tumultuous his thoughts must be.

“Do you remember the conversation we had during the last New Year’s festival? ...About hometowns?” Su Fang is staring up at the sky now, looking into the distance or maybe planning for tonight.

“Yes. What about it?”

Su Fang looks to him, then. He doesn’t look tired, really, but there is a deep sense of it in his eyes.

“A hometown will always welcome you home,” he says, looking Ku Hai in the eyes. “With open arms.”

They’re about the same height, but Su Fang feels very tall. Ku Hai is missing something in his words, and he is far too aware of the empty space. The wind gently ruffles Su Fang’s hair, lovingly decorates him with snowflakes and a red face.

“You said you’d come back to Peng Lai. I thought... maybe...”

“I... I’m sorry, Su Fang. I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

The wind stills around them. Ku Hai immediately knows he has disappointed him, somehow, and his heart sinks at the thought that has hurt such a good friend.

Su Fang smiles. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not that important.” A bold-faced lie, and they both know it, but Ku Hai has no idea what he could say to get him to tell the truth, or even why all this _is_ so important.

“...Will you be alright? Tonight, I mean.” 

“If you’re that worried about my emotional state, you should just leave.”

“I -“ The problem is him, then. He wishes he knew what he’d done. “I’m sorry.”

“Just... come back, all right?” Su Fang is looking at the sky again. His voice sounds strained.

“I will.”

* * *

He doesn’t find Haoran. A few days to get there is a few days too late, and Ku Hai’s not sure what it says about him that he didn’t expect anything anyway. He does get some information though - Haoran apparently plans to loop around and come back in this direction in a few months’ time. Not a total wash, far from it. Far from the least fruitful trip he’s made in this endeavor.

Haoran always leaves stories in his wake. He used to be too focused on finding him to really appreciate it, but he must be quite the storyteller for them to stay so thoroughly in people’s minds. Ku Hai finds he doesn’t really remember if Haoran ever told stories, back at the dojo. He doesn’t remember a lot of it, all of his training pure muscle memory at this point. He tries to remember the dojo, and all he remembers is his master’s body. It’s a startling realization, and one that puts Su Fang’s insistence on hometowns, on Peng Lai, into a new context.

It had been strange for Ku Hai to return to Peng Lai and find Su Fang so... devoted to it. It wasn’t a secret that Su Fang found his hometown limiting, that when they were younger and Ku Hai still lived there, he’d had a sort of quiet derision for it. Maybe not the town itself, really, but in some ways a town and the people in it are indistinguishable, and it was the people who told Su Fang he didn’t understand the thing he was so passionate about. He hadn’t hesitated to pack his bags up and leave. So Ku Hai had been surprised.

Now he thought he was so insistent because there wouldn’t have been anything for him, otherwise. He would’ve ended up like Ku Hai, his memories of his childhood home ones of belittlement and dead family instead of the open arms that had been extended towards him.

Ku Hai would probably never live in Peng Lai again. It’s not a new thought, but it takes on new color. Is it right to call it his hometown, then? If it won’t be his home?

And that begs the question - what will be? Will any place ever be enough?

Ku Hai is a wanderer. He doesn’t need one. And yet...

And yet.

All the people in this village love their home. Their town, each other, their _home_. He wonders. He doesn’t hurt, though, only wonders.

He doesn’t hurt.

* * *

He stays in the village for a few days. It’s a nice place, situated amongst rolling hills (good for setting off pyroblossoms) with a wide square at the center of a few loose rings of houses (good for an audience). A very standard Alberian village, but there’s hardly anything wrong with that. From what he’s heard while staying in the Halidom, Aurelius was a popular king for good reason. The villagers tell him he’d only barely missed Haoran, which meant he’d stayed there for a while, and he can see why. Even with the past year bringing unrest about Dyrenell, this village is far enough away from the capital and close enough to the Halidom that they hadn’t suffered any incursions, and the air around it is peaceful.

He’s surprised at how welcoming the villagers are to him, even given all that. They smile and invite him to sit and eat, ask him if he knows Haoran as they hand him that morning’s bread. There’s a glow around the village, still cresting off the joy of their Dragonyule celebrations, and there’s so many decorations still up, wreaths and garlands and little hand-carved ornaments, that he wonders if Dragonyule goes on for a while, here. He wonders what the celebrations were like back at the Halidom.

He stays with a woman who lives all alone in her house clearly meant for two. A widow, he thinks, until she mentions that he reminds her of her wife - a merchant, but she does it for the traveling, the places to see and life to live outside their village. 

“Don’t you worry?” he asks her - Dahlia, her name is - one night as they sit down for supper. She’d insisted he join her, even though he’d said he could just find his own meals. 

“Of course I do.” She cuts a piece of bread, drizzles a bit of honey on top. “But I know my love will always come home, so there’s really not much use in it. That’s what I tell myself.”

Ku Hai nods as he scoops some stew into his bowl. She’d apologized for it being watery, but there’s been times where he’s eaten grass just to stave off hunger, so he’s far from complaining. 

Their meal is quiet. Ku Hai has lived on travel rations for far too much of his life, and always takes the time to quietly savor a proper meal; Dahlia has already spent the last several meals asking him all kinds of questions. It’s almost strange to be eating with only one other person, to be able to hear every sound of spoons scraping bowls and the ripping of bread under teeth. At the Halidom, meals are bustling, crowded affairs, its many motley residents conversing and clashing over Cleo’s sumptuous cooking. In Peng Lai, during the New Year’s festival, the sounds of food carts and music had drowned out everything, and Su Fang chattering away by his side had tried to drown that out, too.

Maybe he’s gotten used to having people around, or perhaps just anonymity of crowds, where he’s not subject to sudden, pointed questions from people he barely knows.

“Do you have a home?”

He’s not prepared for a question like that, or for there to be a conversation at all, really. His mind flips through the options - a town he only agreed to visit once a year, and a castle that, while it is admittedly growing on him, he thinks he could still never go back and be fine with that. He’d miss the comfort of his bed, and the quiet acceptance of everyone there, of course. And he’s sure the others from Peng Lai are intent on staying. But he’d manage.

“Nothing?” The silence spoke for itself. Dahlia frowns. “Truly no place? No person?”

“...Person?” Weren’t they talking about homes? 

Dahlia lets out a short laugh, more a breath than anything.

“You didn’t even consider that, did you? You truly are a wanderer.”

* * *

Xiao Lei is waiting for him at the Halidom’s drawbridge, and she looks cross.

“Xiao Lei?”

“Ku Hai.”

“How did you know I was coming?”

“Awfully presumptuous of you to think I was waiting for you specifically. Even if it’s true.” She frowns at him like a calculation that isn’t quite working out as it should. “If you must know, Aoi is actually quite skilled at scouting.”

“Why are you upset with me?”

“Why do you _think_ I’m upset with you?”

Ku Hai winces. “This is about Su Fang, isn’t it?”

“ _This is about Su Fang, isn’t it?_ Yes, it’s about him! Or really, more about how you got into a fight with him and left him to sulk for the last fortnight!”

Ku Hai pushes his hat down to hide his face. Neither of them say anything for a while, until Xiao Lei finally sighs.

“Ku Hai. Look at me.” All the righteous anger is gone from her voice, and that’s what makes him follow her order. She stares him in the eye.

“The only reason I’m not more mad at you is because I can tell this is eating at you, too.” A past version of him might have denied that, desperate to maintain his carefully detached existence. But he’d wondered the whole trip back about homes and if Su Fang would even want to look at him, so he’s well past that.

“Please, just go find him. He hasn’t even been working on his pyroblossoms at all.”

“Ah...” He must have been truly upset. A spike of worry pierces through his chest. “Did his display... Did he-“

“He’s fine. He managed that.”

Ku Hai hadn’t realized his shoulders were tense until they relaxed. It seemed all of his training was falling by the wayside lately over this man. Perhaps he’d start forgetting his forms next.

Finally, he readjusts his hat, and when he looks up Xiao Lei is smiling, just a little.

“Do you know...?”

“He’s probably either in his room, wandering the corridors, or out by the Yuletree.”

“It’s still up?”

Xiao Lei shrugs. “The kids like it. It’ll probably get taken down soon, though.” Ku Hai nods.

“I’m going to go find him now.”

“Good.” She waves him off, and he makes his way towards the castle’s central courtyard. It’s just past midday, but piles of snow still cling to the shadows and corners; bells and bows still hang from doors and posts, though he doesn’t see any wreaths or garlands, likely already wilted and thrown out. Likewise, the Yuletree is starting to yellow at the edges, the unfortunate reality of cutting a tree down for decoration. He’s surprised they’ve kept it this long, honestly, but also not, given the prince’s desire to spread happiness. If it’s benefitting anyone, then he’ll keep it up for as long as possible.

He doesn’t see Su Fang anywhere, but at this time of day the courtyard is abuzz, and people keep stopping Ku Hai to welcome him back and ask about his trip. Ieyasu and his retainers greet him on their way out for patrol. Sophie walks out of a door just as he‘s about to pass by and falls in step with him to ask him what things were like on the edges of New Alberia, if he’d found Haoran - he hadn’t told her where he was going or what he was doing, but she has ways of knowing those things anyway. Lowen had apparently followed her, always curious for new stories, and when Elias sees him from across the courtyard he walks over - and yes, there‘s Louise, never far from her brother. Euden, of course, makes a point of stopping by for a moment, even if he can’t stay long. Then Ranzal walks out of the dining hall with Lin You - always the last two out of there, seemingly - and asks him how things had gone, and...

Well, it‘s not hard to attract a crowd in the Halidom. Every time he manages to extract himself from one conversation, someone else starts another, and conversations form around him, adjacent to him, ones that he’s not entirely a part of but still feels some obligation to listen to. By the time he manages to make his way inside the castle, the sun is starting to set - early nights, this time of year. He makes a beeline for the room he and Su Fang share with Xiao Lei and Lin You, but all he gets there is a chance to finally put down his pack and a chagrined look from Xiao Lei, who’s scribbling figures on a piece of parchment, probably bookkeeping for the Halidom.

Ku Hai had hoped to avoid wandering the halls for Su Fang, given how easy it would be to miss each other with all the castle’s twists and turns and doors. He tries to be methodical about it, taking things one wing at a time, main halls and then side halls, but it turns out he knows far less of the castle than he thought, and he must look quite off-put by the time he runs into Cleo in what is probably a servant’s passage, since she immediately beckons for him to follow her and leads him to a door. She waves off his apology with a knowing smile and continues on her way, leaving him to brush off a few motes of dirt on his clothes before he goes through.

He comes out in the courtyard. It’s empty; dinner must be on. He feels a wave of frustration threaten to wash over him until he catches sight of Su Fang sitting on a rock by the Yuletree. His back is to Ku Hai, and with the snow mostly gone from the courtyard, he doesn’t notice Ku Hai until he’s only a few feet away. Even then, he only half-turns his head, still not really looking at him. Xiao Lei was right; he is sulking.

“Su Fang...”

He jolts, whips the rest of the way around, stares. The jewels that Naveed lent as decoration for the Yuletree glow softly, and the flickering lights dance on Su Fang’s skin - not quite like his pyroblossoms, but close.

“Ku Hai -“ He stands up, crosses the few feet between them, and throws his arms around Ku Hai, his smile almost blinding. “Ku Hai! You’re back!”

Ku Hai lifts his arms to return the hug, but stops halfway there. “...I thought you’d be mad at me.”

Su Fang pulls away just enough to look at him. “I mean, I won’t pretend I’m not upset that you just left like that.” Ku Hai grimaces. “But you’re here now, and I’m more happy about that. ...Open arms, right?”

“You took that part rather literally,” Ku Hai laughs. 

“Is that a problem?” Su Fang’s still smiling, but there’s a genuine concern in his eyes that betrays the joking tone. As if he’s the one who was in the wrong in this whole situation. Ku Hai brings his arms the rest of the way up and wraps them around Su Fang.

“No.” He’s very aware of the fact that he’s smiling, and yet not at all, because he might be somewhat grim-faced but smiling around Su Fang is natural. “But isn’t that what you said about hometowns?”

“Yeah, well.” Su Fang leans into him again.

“Su Fang.” He feels him tilt his head to look at him. “Can people be homes too?”

He can feel the smile, too, and Su Fang’s words in his chest.

“I think so.”

“Mmm.” Ku Hai nods. “I’m sorry for leaving the way I did. I think I understand what you were saying, now.”

Su Fang sucks in a breath by his ear, his hands pressing tighter against Ku Hai’s back.

“...You do?”

“Homes love their people, and people love their homes, and people come back to their homes. ...And homes can be people.”

There’s a moment where neither of them say anything, simply standing each other’s arms, and then Su Fang pulls back, his face red. 

“That didn’t make any sense,” he says, but he’s smiling. Teasing. His hands lay on Ku Hai’s arms.

“Really? I thought it did.”

Su Fang just laughs, light and clear, and Ku Hai is tired and starting to get hungry and it started snowing again at some point but his face is red and he’s smiling and he feels _warm_ , warmer than any hot meal or fire could make him.

“Um...”

The voice is quiet, young, and the warmth turns scorching in a moment. Su Fang startles, his hands lifting from Ku Hai’s arms, and they both turn to the voice.

It’s Lily, looking timidly up at them, but she’s smiling and cradling a beautiful flower of ice.

Ku Hai swallows thickly, pushing down the embarrassment that he doesn’t quite understand. They were just talking, and yet...

“What...” His voice comes out strange on the first word. “What is it, Lily?”

“Well, I came out here to freeze the tree up, but I saw you two and you looked so happy! So I thought I’d make you a flower.” She lifts the blossom up towards them, urging them to take it.

“But... If we take it, won’t it melt?” Su Fang asks, even as he reaches for it.

“It’s okay. It’s pretty because it’s going to melt. Besides, the flower will still be there. There’s one frozen up at the center, see?” She pushes the flower towards them again, and Su Fang takes it this time, turning it over carefully in his hands.

“Huh. So there is. See?” He holds it out to Ku Hai, pointing to the dark stem visible through the ice. The flower itself isn’t quite visible, between the ice and the lack of light, simply a darker spot in the center of the bloom. “I can’t wait to see what kind of flower it is!”

Lily giggles, hopping from foot to foot. Ku Hai finds himself smiling, any embarrassment long faded in the face of Lily’s earnest happiness.

“What are you doing out here?” he asks her. 

“I told you that already!” She laughs, a hand up to her mouth, before look up beyond even Su Fang and Ku Hai. “I’ve been coming out every night to freeze the tree!”

Su Fang just see the confusion on his face, because he lets out a laugh of his own. “Just a little bit. Keeping the tree cool helps keep it fresh for longer.”

“Ah. I had wondered how the tree had been kept up this long.”

“I don’t think I can help it much longer, though.” She raises a hand to reach for branches far above even Ku Hai and Su Fang’s heads, her expression holding a sadness that seems far beyond her years. It’s gone in a moment, though, and she’s back to her usual, bubbly self. “Oh well. Dragonyule wouldn’t mean anything if it lasted all year!”

Ku Hai feels some kind of pang.

“Oh, and people are looking for you! You never showed up to dinner,” Lily adds, but he’s only half-listening. He finds himself strangely observant, like he’s staring from just above his own body, and wonders if home, if love and belonging only mean anything because he wanders.

He snaps back into himself when he feels a gentle brush against his arm, Su Fang’s fingers along his sleeve as he smiles at him.

“There you are. Lily said we could watch, if we wanted.” He gently tugs on his sleeve, guiding him away from the tree.

Su Fang and Lily call back and forth, but Ku Hai finds he can only focus on Su Fang’s hand on his arm, a grounding force amongst all the introspection and seeds of doubt he’s been feeling recently, gently pulling him along until they only have to crane their necks a little to see the whole tree and Lily is like a doll at its base.

Frost climbs it’s way up the Yuletree, leaving lacework in its wake, smaller patterns within larger ones, and surely even smaller ones beyond that. White, slowly spreading, gently coating the trunk and branches and the very tips of needles, jewels flickering as the frost passes.

Much of the frost is gone as soon as it appears, overpowered by the warmth of the jewels and the flame mana stored within, but it lingers on the edges and near the base, where piles of snow still lay. A wave of cool air washes gently over them, and Su Fang’s fingers tighten around his arm with the chill. Why is his hand still there?

“C’mon!” Lily calls. “Let’s go back to dinner!”

Su Fang smiles and waves back as she runs off, and Ku Hai finds himself pulled along again. His hand is still on his arm. Why? He’s not going to get lost. He’s not going to wander off.

Ku Hai stops in place.

“Ku Hai? Are you alright?”

It’s a moment of clarity, and suddenly he feels that even if he did understand all of Su Fang’s words about hometowns, he drastically, terribly missed the _point_.

“I... yes, it’s just...” He lets out a breath, bows his head. “You want me to stay.”

His face is hidden by his hat, but that never deterred Su Fang before. It’s only a moment before a finger hooks under the brim and lifts it up, Su Fang peeking under it with a smile.

“Of course I want you to stay. I miss you when you’re gone.”

But that’s not it—

“No, I mean- You want me to _stay_. You don’t want me to leave. You...” He can feel that scorching heat building up in his chest, threatening to burn him with the force of this realization, with the words that won’t leave his throat. “You want...”

Su Fang’s hand reaches up and cradles his cheek. Ku Hai’s thoughts skid to a halt, waiting with bated breath.

“It’s okay, Ku Hai.”

His shoulders relax, tension he hadn’t realized was there releasing all at once as he sees Su Fang’s smile.

Su Fang brushes his thumb along his cheek a couple of times, and as he lets his hand trail back down along Ku Hai’s arm, the burning fades to something sunbeam gentle.

“Let’s go eat. Everyone’s waiting for us.”

Ku Hai nods, and it shouldn’t be possible for Su Fang to smile _more_ , but he does, his hand coming to rest back on Ku Hai’s arm.

“And afterwards... I made some new pyroblossoms for the Dragonyule display that I never got to show you. So maybe we could go out to my spot and I could set them off for you?”

Ku Hai doesn’t think he’ll ever not be a wanderer. But this kind of home... This kind of home, he thinks he might be able to get used to having.

“Of course.”


End file.
